Saturday, August 2, 2008

Scary Worry Wart Mom on the Loose in Oz

Firstly I must thank you for your very helpful and informative website which I have found of great comfort.

I am the mother of a 16 year old son, oldest of 3 boys. We live in [let's say Oz]. From birth he has always been self contained, having few if any friends yet not seeming to be unhappy with this.....

His teachers have suggested that he is extremely academic- excels at languages, English, history etc, yet does not enjoy reading literature at all.

He spends a lot of time in his room listening to music (not contemporary, quite ‘old fashioned’, sentimental stuff)

I really do not believe that he is depressed, unhappy, he will always help if I ask him to do a task and has a remarkably mature outlook on life…He almost needs to be a grown man now…

So, why do I worry myself sick? He has 1 friend who he sees once a week, and no real interests. Hates sport, not musical, hates literature, not into computer games- I feel that this alienates him from pretty much his entire peer group, especially as boys tend to socialise around an activity. I really don’t think he wants to be ‘sociable’- has never been to a party since young, and then only a few. Has never been bullied, in good health and quite attractive!

He has always been incredibly reliant on the TV. As a family we do spend a lot of time talking, we play cards, eat together and I believe we are close

My worry is that he will be ok in the long run- all my friends have kids who are at this stage socialising in many ways, even the self-confessed ‘geeky’ ones.

What about when he goes off to university- should I let him?

It is quite scary for me and I feel very alone with my worries as I have never known anyone with a child like mine. All I hear from others is what time they had to pick their kids up from…., etc etc.

I love him to bits and feel ashamed that I worry about the person he is when he isn’t actually doing anything wrong as such.

Nancy's Note: This mother should feel ashamed. This is an unworthy thing to do to an introverted child, wrap him in a shroud of worry.

The kid is fine. The mother isn't.

Introverts are strong individuals. Who cares if this excellent student and self possessed old soul "doesn't like" literature and typical socializing that his age group does?

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