Monday, July 6, 2009

The Sympathetic "Other Woman's" Survey

age =: 37

name for married lover: Javion

make up a name for you: Jennifer

how did your relationship get started =: I was married and so was Javion. Javion pursued me for years, flirting constantly but not to outrageously, until I finally divorced. I was always attracted to him but did not give in until after I was separated from my husband.

how long did it last =: So far it has lasted 2 years 8 months.

how did it end =: It is close but has not ended yet

would you do it again = : Yes. I truly love him.

never done this before =: No, he never told me he had not been unfaithful. However, our relationship was a first for him...a long term relationship outside the marriage had not occured before.

did he have any kids =: At this time he has 2 kids 6 and 2. He does feel responsible and wants to be a present father for the kids.

did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: Yes I knew his wife.

did you ever contact his wife = : I have never given his wife any details about our relationship. And would not because that would hurt him.

spend a lot of money on you =: No. I was able to support myself. He bought me gifts, and helped me out in small amounts if I needed it, but I did the same for him.

what did he promise you =: That he loved me. That he didn't love her. That he wanted to be with me. That he wished he could leave, and if he ever did he would be with me.

did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: I wanted both, but I never pressed him to get divorced. He is still married.

are you still in contact with him = : Yes

did you have an abortion or a child =: No, but we tried.

did you date others =: Yes. In the beginning it was to cover up the affair. Later it has been to continue to live my life, and not let it be only about him.

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Don't do it. It is full of pain and heartache. Find a single man who will fulfill your needs. He will never leave his wife.
what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: Don't take out all your anger on the other woman. She probably did not pursue your husband. Instead, consider that maybe if some of the things your husband is telling you sound a little far fetched and distant from the truth, they probably are. Men in this situation will usually say anything and blame everything on the other woman so they don't lose their wives.

why do you tnink men have affairs =: His marriage was missing excitement, love and a connection. We have a deep, strong bond that has always been there and remains to this much so that both of us have tried to end it with the other, but we are simply unable to do so.
did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: Yes constantly. I don't want to break up his family, even though I love him with all of my heart.

where how often regularly =: We met in various places around the town we lived in, my house, his house (1 time) motels, hotels. Anywhere we could see each other. For the first 2 years we met often, at least one or two times a week. It is long distance now and is more like one or two times a year.

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: I have told a few people. They have told me it will not end well. I am worth more. I need to find someone who can be with me.

what did you learn =: I began the relationship thinking that we could explore our mutual strong attraction for each other and have some fun. However, it turned out quickly that I realized the years of friendship and attraction had turned to love. It is really like playing with fire.

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