Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Sympathetic Other Woman Survey

age =: 33

name for married lover: Lucky

make up a name for you: candy

how did your relationship get started =: We met at work. He had been giving me looks for a while, but didn't ask me out until November. I guess they were on a "break". He had moved out, and was very attentive. We began to spend time together. Then he told me he was getting back together with his ex. After 2 weeks he was back at my office door.

how long did it last =: Its been 7 months

how did it end =: It stops and starts, depending on how freaked he is, or how frustrated I am with the lies.

would you do it again = : Ask me in a year.

never done this before =: No. I know he's been divorced twice because he can't stay faithful. Unfortunately, we have the common connection of compulsive sexual behavior. I could never tae him to meet my family anyway, but its annoying to be so restricted on when I can and cant see him. He claims he loves her, but that I provide him experiences he's always dreamed of. Neither of us seems to be ble to walk away, no matter how much we drive each other crazy. Its a big mess.

did he have any kids =: He has 2 with his ex wife (who, technically is stll his wife...)plus her older son. His fiancee has a daughter, who he refers to as "our" daughter, but the rumor mill at work says shes not actually his. Hard to know.

did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: Never met her. Read her myspace blogs out of curiosity.

did you ever contact his wife = : haven't as of now, but I might...

spend a lot of money on you =: He doesn't really have any money, and i have family money. Hes bought dinner or little things, but not much.

what did he promise you =: orgasms and the excitement of messing around at work.

did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: He's so not a man I could introduce to my family. He has no money, no future and is very immature. But in the back of my mind, I guess there are feelings I don't want to admit.

are you still in contact with him = : yes

did you have an abortion or a child =: no

did you date others =: I wish I could.

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Run away. Its not worth the frustration and the guilt.

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: Cheaters don't change. Especially without therapy.

why do you tnink men have affairs =: he and I bonded of common sexual addicton. Men cheat when they feel entitled to. It goes along with a self-centered and immature view of the world.
did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: yes

where how often regularly =: work, almost daily at times. Sometimes we go a few weeks without talking but he always comes back.

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: My friends, a few of them. None of them judged me, but they hate to see me unhappy or frustrated.

what did you learn =: I think I am learning to admit that I am unble to control my compulsive sexual behavior, and have recently returned to therapy. I know I am not in control of myself around men, some men, and I have to make changes to find better men and better relationships.

No comments: