Friday, July 10, 2009

The "Sympathetic" Other Woman Survey

age =: 23

name for married lover: Adam

make up a name for you: Alyssa

how did your relationship get started =: We met on campus at college, he was in a couple of my writing classes. We started meeting in between class to talk, we both began to look forward to it. We started emailing each other and finally admitted our attraction. There was always a spark between us, and I felt drawn to him. A May-December romance, I am 23, he is 46.

how long did it last =: on going. It has been about 4 months.

how did it end =: on going.

would you do it again = : yes.

never done this before =: He's had affairs before. I believe, he is a chronic philanderer. I don't know that this bothers me because I don't feel the need to 'possess' him and own him. I figure, this is who he is, he loves women. I can accept it, or leave.

did he have any kids =: His kids are grown, 24, 26.

did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: I have never met her, no.

did you ever contact his wife = : I would never contact her.

spend a lot of money on you =: No, nothing like that.

what did he promise you =: Nothing. He told me he would like to be my friend and lover for a long time. I feel we will engage in a long-term affair as long as our feelings remain good for each other.

did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: No, I don't know that we would succeed at a marriage, even. Or anything to structured and conventional. I am satisfied w/ just the affair.

are you still in contact with him = : yes

did you have an abortion or a child =: He's had a vasectomy.

did you date others =: I still consider myself single. I have seen other men, yes.

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Keep it in perspective. Be careful of whom you choose as your affair. Be prepared to be alone and unable to reach him sometimes. Take it for what it is, as long as it is enjoyable.

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: Communicate with him. He's lonely and just wants to feel alive, emotionally intimate, accepted, and have a passionate lover and a best friend.

why do you tnink men have affairs =: A passionate lover and someone to confide in and trust. Someone to nuture his spirit.

did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: no, never.

where how often regularly =: We meet randomly, depending on his work schedule and mine. The very first encounter we had was in the elevator at the college! Now, we meet at my house, every few weeks or so.

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: I've told a few friends. Some support me and others don't say much. I am honest. I say he makes me feel secure and happy and that I am realisitc about what the relationship is.

what did you learn =: I would say I am still learning...mostly, I've learned to be vulnerable and open up to this man and allow him to care for me.

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