Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Sympathetic "Other Woman" Suruvey

=: 55

name for married lover: Frank

make up a name for you: Kim

how did your relationship get started =: At work

how long did it last =: 9 years
how did it end =: His wife wanted to move to North Carolina to get a fresh start. So he moved with her and his two kids

would you do it again = : Never in a million years

never done this before =: It was his second time remarrying her. He did it to her the first time around and they divorced. I was the second time around woman

did he have any kids =: he has two kids 13 and 18 and he did say many times he was in the marriage for the kids. He had to think of his kids.

did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: I met his wife a few times here and there but never got to know her.
did you ever contact his wife = : I sent a letter to her three brothers telling them about the affair. I devasted the whole family. I was the wrong choice. I did it in anger. I did it because after he moved away he continued to contact me. Telling me he missed me loved me wanted to see me so badly. He requested naked pictures of me repeatedly. Then he continued to tell me bad things about his wife how she was treating him. I got so angry one day I couldn't take it anymore so I wrote the letter and sent a copy of his email requesting the pictures of me.

spend a lot of money on you =: No money nothing ever....

what did he promise you =: He promised he was leaving his wife many many times and that we would be together someday.

did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: I wanted to marry him and I did press him to leave North Carolina and come back to be with me.

are you still in contact with him = : I have tried to stop contact repeately I changed my numbers and then gave them back to him.. I am again trying. I have changed my cell phone and work phone has been changed but he still has my home phone. I have blocked his emails and chat and facebook.

did you have an abortion or a child =: no

did you date others =: yes

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Please don't ever do it. It is so very painful sometimes you will want to die. There were days I was so depressed crying all day many times. He has no regard for you at all he will lie and lie and lie just to keep you and her. He wants you both. Run like the wind from a married man....

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: He is lying to her and will continue to lie just to be with the mistress. He is addicted just like a drug or alcohol. He will bounce her around she should think of leaving him or if he is willing go to counseling because there are things that are wrong in the marriage and the mistress is just the product of it all.
why do you tnink men have affairs =: He said she criticized everything he did. She was not affectionate. Everything had to be her way in the house he had no say in anything. I think I made him feel like he was unconditionally loved by me and I never criticized him or tried to change him.

did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: Not really I hated the wife. He told me such terrible things about her and the way she treated him I never felt guilty not one second.

where how often regularly =: In my office, at his house when his wife was not home, on breaks it was random

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: I told everyone. They were just concerned that I was not going to get hurt. They didn't want to see that

what did you learn =: Well, I learned that I am a good person and I deserve to #1 not #2 or #3 and I will settle for nothing less anymore. I went thru such pain, emotionally because I fell deeply in love with him. I still love him to this day. I am ready to move on tough. What amazes me is that he still trys to contact me even though his wife watches his every move and that he continues to stay in a bad marriage and that she continues to stay in a bad marriage knowing her husband has been unfaithful. What also amazes me is how a person could lie so much to everyone. I could write a book really what I have told you is just a dot on a pages and pages of this relationship

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