Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Best Guest Article - How Loveable Are You?

Jacqueline Brook - Professional astrologer of the Tradition

I was chatting with a friend the other day who is also an astrologer and we came to the conclusion, based on our experience in this field, that what all of us really want to know is when will we meet someone who will love us just the way we are, and when we do, will they stick around once they discover our faults? That same day I received an email written by someone who runs a dating agency, and they mentioned how so many people who attend these arranged singles evenings spend the entire night complaining about how poor the quality of people is they are meant to meet and fall in love with.

This got me thinking and CS Lewis sums it up perfectly when he says "if you want to be loved, be loveable". There are many books written on this topic, one of my favorites being "Living, Loving and Learning" by Leo Buscaglia. He says exactly what CS Lewis does - how can we expect others to be attracted to us, to want to spend time with us and to love us, if we are not loveable at the outset?

Too many people expect the world from their partners and those close to them yet give little in return; they love with conditions attached and then complain bitterly when the object of their affections moves onto greener pastures. We should not love to receive anything in return - we should just love - because we are loving individuals who seek to promote warmth and caring as opposed to criticism and hatred. How many of us actually do that? Manipulation, coercion, threats, guilt trips, bitterness, nagging, deceit - the list is endless - these are all displayed in the relationships I see around me - there are very few overtly loving relationships and I am not only referring to romantic love relationships.

One can delve deeper into this realm - CS Lewis describes the human race as rodents - our behaviour towards one another and other life forms and the way in which we live our lives is despicable, yet we assume that we are loved by God no matter how shockingly we behave - the fact that this is the case has nothing to do with our natures nor the fact that we assume that we are innately loveable - it has to do with the Creator who loves us immaterial of the fact that we are rodents.

We then expect this same unconditional love from human beings - yet we do very little to earn it. We criticise, we complain, we blame, we say the most awful things and then say "I am only joking" and we forget that there is a fine line between love and hate. After the umpteenth time of being abused by someone or in return abusing them, sorry is not enough - the magic has dissipated. We need to treat our partners and loved ones as we wish to be treated - no matter how long standing the relationship is or how thick the blood that runs between us - one must never under estimate the power of respect. To be disrespectful towards someone that you love is to proclaim the death sentence for that relationship.

We then have people who make absolutely no effort with their physical appearance yet expect their "soul mate" (how that term irritates me) to see past the bad hair cut, the sloppy clothes and the extra 10 kg's and to recognize their inner beauty as they are "oh so loveable". If you are not attracting warm and loving people into your life, you need to look at yourself. The quality of the people in our lives is indicative of where we are on our path of growth. You cannot expect a butterfly to land on a thorn bush, it is attracted to beautiful flowers that are sweet smelling, and yet we are adamant that we are a special kind of thorn bush and all it takes is for some god like creature to come along and recognise that. And oh yes, that poor creature had damn well better be a beautiful butterfly else we are not interested! Take a long hard look in the mirror and if you need to plant some beautiful flowers in your garden to attract the butterflies, then do it.

In a natal chart one would assess the entire chart but specifically the quality of Venus (our ability to love and to allow ourselves to be loved), the Moon (our emotional nature), the Sun (our ego or true identity) and Lords 1 (us) and 7 (others) to determine the quality of our loving natures and our relationships. Some of us are blessed with these planets being in dignity and posited in houses where their essence can manifest, others of us have these planets in detriment and accidentally debilitated by being locked away in an unfortunate house or otherwise compromised - whichever it is, we all have the right to be loved and we all wish to love in return. The purpose of astrology is to assist us in making better life choices and in manifesting the positive side of our personality as opposed to the dark side. Man is extremely adaptable - if we are pointed towards a path that can make our lives more meaningful and beautiful, very few would choose to ignore it unless there was something pathologically wrong with them or they were just plain stupid.

Venus is the goddess of love and she naturally rules the 5th house of sex and play in the chart - it is essential that if she is debilitated in a chart that she is helped by other essentially dignified planets - Venus in Leo for example, a feral sign, could attract unsavoury types and in return behave in a primal fashion as she is peregrine thus weak - the native would then spend their life wondering why they never attract anyone "decent" and why their relationships are disastrous. Thorough analysis of the birth chart can assist us in making better decisions regarding matters of the heart, but we can all start with simple steps right now - by treating others as we would like to be treated and in asking "how loveable am I?" If you can be honest with yourself and look internally instead of to others to dump the blame, a powerful and beautiful change can begin. You see, even though we may be rodents, we all still have the essence of our Creator within us - we can tap into this powerful and positive energy and allow our loving natures free rein.

If a person is fundamentally loving, others are attracted to them, they do not use words such as hate or despise, they focus on the softer aspects of life and endeavour to make those around them feel accepted and nurtured. We live in a society where we are so "I" focused - it is all about fulfilling our own needs and our own yearnings. If you long for a partner and don't have that blessing in your life right now, find an outlet for your love and affection - we live in a country where there is no shortage of those who could benefit from a little love and compassion. I truly believe that if we focus on others and interact at a loving level with them, we do attract those special people who will want to spend time with us - the choice is ours - to adopt a victim mind set and thus fuel the self absorption, or to simply be a loving individual because you can - no hidden agendas or ulterior motives.

A loving nature does not stop being loving when it leaves the bosom of the family and turn into a demon amongst strangers - it is loving towards all - it displays kindness, charity, justice, faith and hope - and in the words of the Dalai Lama - if you can't help others at least do not harm them.
[Jacqueline Brook does horary and electional astrology specialties in case you've been looking for someone. Please click here.]


Moreen Murray said...

Fabulous and words to remember and live by!!

Moreen Murray said...

Fabulous and words to remember and live by!!

Anonymous said...

A lovely article. Thank you for posting it.