The Sympathetic "Other Woman" Survey

me for married lover: Edward

make up a name for you: Anne

how did your relationship get started =: He and I worked together, he started showing interest in my single life, caring about who I was spending time with, encouraging me not to settle and then started offering to help me fix things around my house so I would not have to hire someone, he called me and wished me happy weekend, made excuses to see me on jobs, then one day said he was spending so much time around me because he wanted to be around me and that he had settled in his less than 3 yr 2nd marraige and that he did not want me to settle. He expressed a struggle in how he could get out of the commitment he made with this 2nd wife and if he did divorce her how would I ever trust him?

how long did it last =: 2-1/2 yrs. A couple of times he left me and usually it was holidays and summers when family was around, but he always came back crying about how he did not want to lose me, he only saw his future with me, he did not see himself staying with wife forever,and he was trying to get it all figured out in his head how to justify divorce.

how did it end =: He finally went to talk to a pastor to explain his feelings for me and how he saw his future with me and how he had never loved or desired another the way he did with me and the pastor told him what he was doing was wrong and that his future was not with me,but with his wife. He told me he could not justify divorcing her no matter how much he wanted me and us and that it would haunt him forever if he walked out on her. He said that she may have his name but I have his heart and he said I knew the truth and he was only doing what he felt led by God to do,which was stay married and stay in the life he signed up for no matter how selfish his feelings were that he wanted to be with me.

would you do it again = : No

never done this before =: No he had never done this. I believe him.

did he have any kids =: He had custody of two kids from previous marriage. He said his struggle was how to role model making a commitment to a wife in front of God and then in less than 3 years, saying it is ok to change your mind. He said he wanted to leave a legacy to his sons of how to always do the right thing.

did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: No I did not know her. I met her once but would not have recognized her in a crowd.

did you ever contact his wife = : I wrote her a long email and told her all the truth. She was shocked. She had suspected previously and found some emails he wrote to me. But he told her he would stay away from me and honor his commitment to their marriage. But he came back to me after 2 months and said he could not live that life or he would die. Then she found out he came back to me and she came over to my house while we were there. He would not let me answer the door. He never has been back in 5 months. He obviously told her again he would never see me again.

spend a lot of money on you =: yes, he was always buying me gifts, jewelry, etc.

what did he promise you =: He promised me a life, a future, we had a money market account, we started a LLC company together, we had house plans, he promised me he would marry me. He actually committed his life to me forever 3 years ago.

did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: I wanted to marry him. I waited till his youngest son went off to college and I told him it was time, and he could/would not do it.

are you still in contact with him = : No

did you have an abortion or a child =: no

did you date others =: I tried to see other men to get over him hurting me when he would disappear but I never could get involved because of my commitment to him

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Don't do it, don't fall for anything they have to say. Tell them if they want you, you have to be number 1, they have to get a divorce.

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: Don't be an idiot. If you think he is not into you, then he probably is getting his needs met elsewhere. I would hire a service to follow him and tape his cell phone records, etc.

why do you tnink men have affairs =: I believe when you are married to the wrong person, someone you are not bound to in an intimate manner, the marriage is lacking. He and his wife (according to him) lacked intimacy. He said they were more like friends and room mates.

did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: Yes, I hated it. I encouraged him to make it right as soon as possible so we could stop being deceitful.

where how often regularly =: My house. He called me every single morning, ran to me, we spent most days together, lunch, afternoons at my house, traveled on vacations, he texted me goodnight each and every night.

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: Everyone in my life knew about this. They all believed he was a man who was going to do what he said.

what did you learn =: I learned that a person who seemed so sincere, so tender hearted, so true and committed to me,can just walk away like I was NOTHING. I have never been so hurt in my entire life.

The Sympathetic "Other Woman" Survey

name for married lover: Romeo

make up a name for you: Juliet

how did your relationship get started =: I am a veterinary technician, he was the doc and owner of the practice. I was married for 12 years and my husband was abusive. Not that this is any excuse. I was going through an emotional struggle. I had tried to leave 2 other times and stayed bc he promised to change. He just continued to be the same. I was hurting and hated going home bc I knew it was tense. I loved my job. We had recently moved to this new town to get a new start, so I left my job of 10 yrs and started working for Romeo. Things just went back to the way they were and I knew no one out here in the country. I became really good friends withthe girls at work and really began to respect the doc. When I first interviewed w/ him I thought he was very strange. Months later we became close, joking with one another, talking over surgery and he taught me a lot of things about the business and in depth things about surgery and so on. Although I have been in the field for 10 years, I didn't work much with the surgeries. Needless to say, we all began going out on thurs nights for an hour or so. The doc bought us all a round of drinks and we would chat, play pool and just relax. It was nice to get away.

Romeo had a lot of respect for me, I brought a lot of ideas to his business from the large practice I worked at before, and helped out with client services and how to educate clients better to get them to use all of his services. We just made a good team, and became best friends over time and one night it happened. We both had made flirtation jokes, but I had a few drinks and spilled my guts a little that if he wasn't married...and then he kissed me. The next working day was weird bc we were not sure what the other was going to say. It just went on from there. It was exciting and I enjoyed being appreciated.

Over time, I fell deeply in love with him more and more as days went on. As far as his wife goes, the truth is I could never stand the way she acted towards him. There were times she would come in their with his best friend and they would come up front together (the friend)and were all over each other. She didn't talk to her husband very respectful either. I jsut felt like we shared this together, the lack of appreciation and disrespect from our spouses. I am a very sensitive person, and I am very compassionate. I am not a mean person, I swear! I have times where I feel so bad about this, and then other times I feel bad for him. I do understand why this happend. We were both emotionally unhappy in our marriages.

Needless to say, we were caught by my husband. I had already told him I wanted a divorce, he moved out. One day he left work early and came back to the house and we were "together". It was humiliating, embarassing, scary and regretful. It has been almost 2 years now, and we are still together. My divorce has been final for a while, but his is still going on. She is dragging it out and has pulled some nasty tricks on him. They both have businesses, so there is a lot to settl!
e. They went through counseling and were going to try to work it out, I lost my job of course. I have been supportive of whatever he needs to do. I do not like being the cause of the divorce. I just want him to be happy, even if that means with her. I do truly believe he loves me, and I do not think he wants to be with her. She uses scare tactics and guilt and belittling him to do the right thing and not divorce. I do understand I really have no right to get mad bc I did this to myself. I have broken it off with him and told him he needs to decide what he really wants and I should not be in the way if he loves her. He just comes back pleading his love for me and he wants to be with me, he just hates hurting her and needs to be easy with her. They do not live together and haven't for over a year. He still jumps through hoops to please her if she makes a request, even if it means me sitting at home alone. I suppose this is what I get. I didn't do this to be malicious. I truly love this man and would do anything for him. When we are together, it is just wonderful. It isn't forced, it is just natural for us. We enjoy each others company. We can not say anything and just sit and hold hands and it just feels right no matter what we are doing. I have to say, I am having my doubts now about the relationship. I am getting impatient and feeling guilty that the divorce is still not final. I am wondering if maybe his feelings are stronger than he realized and he just doesn't know which way to go.

He is 25 yrs older than me and this bothers him. I get a lot of flack for it from others, so does he. Mainly our ex's. She tells him he is an old man and looks silly walking around with me. Anyway, I would do anything for him. Including walking away peacefully if he wants to work things out with his wife. It will hurt, but I would not want to be the choice he regrets. Honestly, I feel bad for the situation bc it has hurt so many people. Including myself. This has been one of the most painful experieces of my life. However, I do not regret my own divorce, it should have happened a long time ago. I just want peace in my life. I am so torm on whether to walk or hold on. He tells me he is going through with this divorce and he can't live without me. He has tried and everytime he tries to, he realizes how much he loves me. I sometimes feel foolish like it is never going to happen. As you can tell, I am very hurt and confused and do not know what to do. I do not want to lose his love, at the same time I do not want to be taken for granted.

would you do it again = : If this does not work out, I assure you I will never cross that line again. I would not even date a man who is going through divorce, ever!

never done this before =: No, he had stepped out of the marriage once before. He was upfront about this.

did he have any kids =: His kids are older and out of the house.It would not have mattered.
did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: I knew his wife from coming into the office, and she went out with us all one evening. She was very snobby from day 1, and thought of us employees as just nobody's. She was very short with all of us as if we were stupid.

did you ever contact his wife = : I would never contact her. It is not my place.

spend a lot of money on you =: I am just a simple girl. I am not into expensive things. He takes me to dinner and he has bought me things, but I really just enjoy his time!

what did he promise you =: Things would be ok.
　
did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: I would love to marry him. I do not think he is a bad guy, and I do not think he is a player. I think he is a respectable man that is tired of being worn down and degrated. Nothing he does is evern good enough for her. I do not hear this from him, I have seen it with her in the office and the majority of the town has said she has always done him this way. They say he shoud have left her a long time ago. He still defends her and says she can't help it, or it isn't as bad as what people say. He takes responsibility for his onw short comings too. This is one of the reasons I love him. He is a good man and tries to see the best in people. He is not judgemental and takes responsibility for his own doings. He is a good man.

are you still in contact with him = : yes

did you have an abortion or a child =: no

did you date others =: I have went on a few dates when he went back to his wife. I realized quickly, it was pointless and you can't date when you are in love with someone else. It isn't fair to the other person either.

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Don't do it! If the marriage is really over, they will get out anyway. Then if you are available at the same time, you can date. Affairs are painful for all involved. Not just the obvious, but your children, your extended family and your friends. No one likes to see peole they love in pain. Everyone makes mistakes, and once you cross that line the feelings get deeper and it is messy. The guilt alone is heartbreaking and very depressing. Even if your partners significant other doesn't seem to love them, they still built that life together and you assisted in tearing it down.

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: I would feel like a hypocrite, but I would want to know how long. There is a difference in having a sexual affair and someone he is actually in love with. I would not want to be married to a man in love with someone else and one I could not trust. However, I would ask this same person if they have ever crossed the line, or even thought about it. I think you have to look deep into the marriage and ask why. Are you married just for the sake of not losing money, a house and there is no emotional bond? I think if deep down you are not really happy, you shouldn't stay. You are cheating them and yourself, and your kids. If all you do is fight, or even have no communication, what kind of example are you setting of a "loving healthy relationship".
why do you tnink men have affairs =: I think there are different situations. He was missing appreciation, sincerity, passion and communication.
did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: Yes
where how often regularly =: In the office, his house, my house, the park, lunches.
did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: My closest friend, I worked with her. She figured it out. She said she did not condone it, but she understood. She said it was obvious there were fellings between us.

what did you learn =: I have learned a lot. I can truly say I have learned a lot about love, myself and lines that should not be crossed. I can say before this man, I am not sure I have ever really been in love. The things I have been willing to sacrifice for him, the pain involved, the time I have put into this without knowing the outcome, it is like I am dieing inside between my love for him, my guilt for the situation, the things I have lost and the situation I have put myself in. I have 4 children who I love dearly and I do not like the example I have set and the situation they have experienced. He will always be my hero for making me see I did not deserve the abuse,and giving me the confidence to leave. My kids are happier children now that they do not have to live that life. However, I am not happy with the other things he has done. Stringing me along sometimes, my life is in limbo. Although I would never do this again, I do not regret our time together. I felt love for the first time. I know he loves me and has treated me better than any man ever has. The stringing along is just him being unable to decide what to do between his love for me and his responsibility to the promise he made so many years ago. I am not naive, I see the pain he is going through and he would be giving up a lot. If he were able to just up and leave for someone else without giving it any thought, I would be scared.

The Age of Aquarius

The Age of Aquarius

Comment on my article by a reader:

This is terrific and highly informative article. But I can not be naive to believe that the Fundamentalists will subscribe to ideas presented here. As Thomas Aquinas once said "for those who believe no proof is necessary; for those who don't believe no proof is possible." Yet it amazes me how much these "fundamentalists" don't know their own Bible at all and can only reference the Bible when trying to discredit the idea that the Bible is not a literal history.
Have you ever heard of the Zeitgeist Movement. It is headed up by a man named Peter Joseph who has made two very provocative movies on the fraudulence of religion, the monetary system and the world's governments. The movement itself is actually the activist arm of the Venus Project. The VP is a proposal of a money-free world where decisions are arrived at rather than voted on and manipulated through the priority of profit. The VP is gaining more and more popularity as this recession continues--especially in Europe. You can watch both films(Zeitgeist and Zeitgeist Addendum)online at googlevideo.com for free. This proposal makes no claim to be Utopian, but does address the true underlying causes of societal problems of today and offers true and unbiased solutions for those problems. I hope you will find these movies and discuss them with your students...because of the favor of Capitalism in the US, there seems to be very little awareness and support for it in this hemisphere.

Recommendations for Nancy R. Fenn

BeMyAstrologer.com

Terry Lamb, Owner, Inner Edge Human Technologies/Astro-Energetic Healingworked with Nancy at Bookstore
“Nancy is profoundly insightful. She has a superlative gift at grasping and presenting one's total life situation and issues with truly actionable ideas. And she is capable of drilling down to day to day specifics. I consider her a significant asset as I go forward on my personal journey.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity

Robert Dunbarhired Nancy as a Counseling in 1999, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is an excellent astrologer and psychic. She is the nation's Saturn Return expert and helped me through my second Saturn Return and with other situations in my life. She also taught me how to read Tarot cards and is an excellent teacher.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity

Semiramis Appiamohired Nancy as a Astrologer in 2000, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is a master at coaching, astrologer and reading. She has helped me in every area of my life. Further, I have referred COUNTLESS clients to Nancy for coaching. She is the nation's Expert on second Saturn Return (ages 58-60) and on Introverts. I recommend her without reservation.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity

Susan Dunnhired Nancy as a Career Coach in 1,985, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is one of the best psychic consultants I've encountered. I have had many readings with her and have referred quite a few friends. Her insight has proven itself time and again. When my son was born seven years ago she did his Natal Chart, which I refer to every so often. It has been a very helpful tool in understanding and interacting with his particular personality. I highly recommend Nancy. She is amazing.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity

Wendy Holmhired Nancy as a Psychic consultation in 1995, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is a wonderful caring advisor. She is highly intuitive, positive, intelligent, thorough and trustworthy. Nancy has gently guided me through many stressful times with her insightful advice and encouragement. She is always there for me, no matter what. I view her as not just an advisor or teacher but a friend. She is also a gifted teacher, who researches extensively, is open and receptive with a continuing sense of wonder.”
Top qualities: Personable, Expert, High Integrity

Mo Murrayhired Nancy as a Astrologer/Tarot Reader/Advisor in 2005, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is a wonderful astrologer and intuitive. She has given me insight into situations that I could have never seen on my own. She has a God given talent in these areas. She comes highly recommended and I have worked with her for over 15 years.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, High Integrity

Tamara Grahamhired Nancy as a Astrologer in 1990, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy Fenn is an extremely gifted psychic and astrologer. She has guided me through many difficult times with her beacon of light, knowledge, and expertise. I am always in awe of her uncanny insight and psychological interpretations. Nancy possesses an eagle's eye of focus which has assisted me in targeting and obtaining my goals. Her tender gentleness and kindness melts away any fears I may have and is a calming center in my life. What I really admire about Nancy is her impeccable ability to predict and effect energy. I have elicited Nancy's help for years and will continue for years to come. She's utterly amazing and I don't know what I would do without her!”
Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, Expert

Margaret Lorishired Nancy as a International Teacher and Healer in 1996, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy is a brilliant and expert astrologer specializing in saturn return chart readings. I came to her for a reading during that difficult time and her reading was so in-depth/thorough, intuitive, inspiring, and reassuring. Some of her insights simply amazed me. The entire process helped me immensely. Still today, I reread her report every few months to gain perspective on my life with a few new "aha...that's what that means" every time. It's kind of like a mini-life guide. I've been to many astrologers, and she is by far the best---she has strong intuitive faculties and is kind-hearted and approachable. I highly recommend her services!”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, Creative

Amy Provenzanohired Nancy as a Astrology in 2005, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy brings compassion and insight to every interaction i've had with her.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, Creative

Michele Gutierrezhired Nancy as a Readings in 2004, and hired Nancy more than once
“Nancy offers remarkably intuitive insights to human personality and spirtuality. I came to Nancy because of her reputation as "Saturn's Return Expert." The chart she produced to help guide me through this period was remarkably on target, and I use it still as reference and guidance.”
Top qualities: Expert, High Integrity, Creative

Jon Layton, Astrologer, Skygroovesworked indirectly for Nancy at BeMyAstrologer
“I took Nancy's Tarot class and was so pleased with the results. Her insights into the symbolism and history of the cards was impressive. The lessons enriched my understanding of the human psyche, and her explanations illuminated the human condition.”
Top qualities: Great Results, Expert, High Integrity

BirthChart MacKEnzie Phillips

I think there's no doubt she's telling the truth - two major transits practically scream it - Saturn approaching the NNode and IC (DArk Night of the Soul) plus Pluto coming up on Saturn in the house of secret love affairs. In clearing this up, she is Virgo-ing her own Pisces (Nodes). That Stellium in the 4th - the old man definitely did her. Now she can heal.

Natally, Aries Moon in the 9th is a truth teller.

Zodiac Sign Traits from an Astrological Aqua Man

He just visited "ZodiacTraits" to learn about compatiblity.

Dear Nancy,

I found you very spot on about sign compatibilities in astrology. Many things that you have said are really original and no others have dared to say specially about compatibility of virgo and aquarius and scorpio and aquarius. If you allow me, I will make my comment on each of your aquarius compatibility pages. (my astrological knowledge comes from years of experience with my patients).

AquaMan

The Sympathetic "Other Woman" Survey

age =: 34

name for married lover: Romeo

make up a name for you: Juliet

how did your relationship get started =: I am a veterinary technician, he was the doc and owner of the practice. I was married for 12 years and my husband was abusive. Not that this is any excuse. I was going through an emotional struggle. I had tried to leave 2 other times and stayed bc he promised to change. He just continued to be the same. I was hurting and hated going home bc I knew it was tense. I loved my job. We had recently moved to this new town to get a new start, so I left my job of 10 yrs and started working for Romeo. Things just went back to the way they were and I knew no one out here in the country. I became really good friends withthe girls at work and really began to respect the doc. When I first interviewed w/ him I thought he was very strange. Months later we became close, joking with one another, talking over surgery and he taught me a lot of things about the business and in depth things about surgery and so on. Although I have been in the field for 10 years, I didn't work much with the surgeries. Needless to say, we all began going out on thurs nights for an hour or so. The doc bought us all a round of drinks and we would chat, play pool and just relax. It was nice to get away. Romeo had a lot of respect for me, I brought a lot of ideas to his business from the large practice I worked at before, and helped out with client services and how to educate clients better to get them to use all of his services. We just made a good team, and became best friends over time and one night it happened. We both had made flirtation jokes, but I had a few drinks and spilled my guts a little that if he wasn't married...and then he kissed me. The next working day was weird bc we were not sure what the other was going to say. It just went on from there. It was exciting and I enjoyed being appreciated. Over time, I fell deeply in love with him more and more as days went on. As far as his wife goes, the truth is I could never stand the way she acted towards him. There were times she would come in their with hi s best friend and they would come up front together (the friend)and were all over each other. She didn't talk to her husband very respectful either. I jsut felt like we shared this together, the lack of appreciation and disrespect from our spouses. I am a very sensitive person, and I am very compassionate. I am not a mean person, I swear! I have times where I feel so bad about this, and then other times I feel bad for him. I do understand why this happend. We were both emotionally unhappy in our marriages.Needless to say, we were caught by my husband. I had already told him I wanted a divorce, he moved out. One day he left work early and came back to the house and we were "together". It was humiliating, embarassing, scary and regretful. It has been almost 2 years now, and we are still together. My divorce has been final for a while, but his is still going on. She is dragging it out and has pulled some nasty tricks on him. They both have businesses, so there is a lot to settle. They went through counseling and were going to try to work it out, I lost my job of course. I have been supportive of whatever he needs to do. I do not like being the cause of the divorce. I just want him to be happy, even if that means with her. I do truly believe he loves me, and I do not think he wants to be with her. She uses scare tactics and guilt and belittling him to do the right thing and not divorce. I do understand I really have no right to get mad bc I did this to myself. I have broken it off with him and told him he needs to decide what he really wants and I should not be in the way if he loves her. He just comes back pleading his love for me and he wants to be with me, he just hates hurting her and needs to be easy with her. They do not live together and haven't for over a year. He still jumps through hoops to please her if she makes a request, even if it means me sitting at home alone. I suppose this is what I get. I didn't do this to be malicious. I truly love this man and would do anything for him. When we are together, it is just wonderful. It isn't forced, it is just natural for us. We enjoy each others company. We can not say anything and just sit and hold hands and it just feels right no matter what we are doing. I have to say, I am having my doubts now about the relationship. I am getting impatient and feeling guilty that the divorce is still not final. I am wondering if maybe his feelings are stronger than he realized and he just doesn't know which way to go. He is 25 yrs older than me and this bothers him. I get a lot of flack for it from others, so does he. Mainly our ex's. She tells him he is an old man and looks silly walking around with me. Anyway, I would do anything for him. Including walking away peacefully if he wants to work things out with his wife. It will hurt, but I would not want to be the choice he regrets. Honestly, I feel bad for the situation bc it has hurt so many people. Including myself. This has been one of the most painful experieces of my life. However, I do not regret my own divorce, it should have happened a long time ago. I just want peace in my life. I am so torm on whether to walk or hold on. He tells me he is going through with this divorce and he can't live without me. He has tried and everytime he tries to, he realizes how much he loves me. I sometimes feel foolish like it is never going to happen. As you can tell, I am very hurt and confused and do not know what to do. I do not want to lose his love, at the same time I do not want to be taken for granted.

would you do it again = : If this does not work out, I assure you I will never cross that line again. I would not even date a man who is going through divorce, ever!
never done this before =: No, he had stepped out of the marriage once before. He was upfront about this.

did he have any kids =: His kids are older and out of the house.It would not have mattered.
did you know his wife before or gret to know her?: I knew his wife from coming into the office, and she went out with us all one evening. She was very snobby from day 1, and thought of us employees as just nobody's. She was very short with all of us as if we were stupid.

did you ever contact his wife = : I would never contact her. It is not my place.

spend a lot of money on you =: I am just a simple girl. I am not into expensive things. He takes me to dinner and he has bought me things, but I really just enjoy his time!

what did he promise you =: Things would be ok.
　
did you want to marry him or just have the affair =: I would love to marry him. I do not think he is a bad guy, and I do not think he is a player. I think he is a respectable man that is tired of being worn down and degrated. Nothing he does is evern good enough for her. I do not hear this from him, I have seen it with her in the office and the majority of the town has said she has always done him this way. They say he shoud have left her a long time ago. He still defends her and says she can't help it, or it isn't as bad as what people say. He takes responsibility for his onw short comings too. This is one of the reasons I love him. He is a good man and tries to see the best in people. He is not judgemental and takes responsibility for his own doings. He is a good man.

are you still in contact with him = : yes

did you have an abortion or a child =: no

did you date others =: I have went on a few dates when he went back to his wife. I realized quickly, it was pointless and you can't date when you are in love with someone else. It isn't fair to the other person either.

what advice would you give someone who is considering an affair? = : Don't do it! If the marriage is really over, they will get out anyway. Then if you are available at the same time, you can date. Affairs are painful for all involved. Not just the obvious, but your children, your extended family and your friends. No one likes to see peole they love in pain. Everyone makes mistakes, and once you cross that line the feelings get deeper and it is messy. The guilt alone is heartbreaking and very depressing. Even if your partners significant other doesn't seem to love them, they still built that life together and you assisted in tearing it down.

what advice would you give a wife whose husband was having an affair =: I would feel like a hypocrite, but I would want to know how long. There is a difference in having a sexual affair and someone he is actually in love with. I would not want to be married to a man in love with someone else and one I could not trust. However, I would ask this same person if they have ever crossed the line, or even thought about it. I think you have to look deep into the marriage and ask why. Are you married just for the sake of not losing money, a house and there is no emotional bond? I think if deep down you are not really happy, you shouldn't stay. You are cheating them and yourself, and your kids. If all you do is fight, or even have no communication, what kind of example are you setting of a "loving healthy relationship".

why do you tnink men have affairs =: I think there are different situations. He was missing appreciation, sincerity, passion and communication.

did you ever feel guilty about what you were doing -: Yes

where how often regularly =: In the office, his house, my house, the park, lunches.

did you tel did you tell friends or relatives =: My closest friend, I worked with her. She figured it out. She said she did not condone it, but she understood. She said it was obvious there were fellings between us.

what did you learn =: I have learned a lot. I can truly say I have learned a lot about love, myself and lines that should not be crossed. I can say before this man, I am not sure I have ever really been in love. The things I have been willing to sacrifice for him, the pain involved, the time I have put into this without knowing the outcome, it is like I am dieing inside between my love for him, my guilt for the situation, the things I have lost and the situation I have put myself in. I have 4 children who I love dearly and I do not like the example I have set and the situation they have experienced. He will always be my hero for making me see I did not deserve the abuse,and giving me the confidence to leave. My kids are happier children now that they do not have to live that life. However, I am not happy with the other things he has done. Stringing me along sometimes, my life is in limbo. Although I would never do this again, I do not regret our time together. I felt love for the first time. I know he loves me and has treated me better than any man ever has. The stringing along is just him being unable to decide what to do between his love for me and his responsibility to the promise he made so many years ago. I am not naive, I see the pain he is going through and he would be giving up a lot. If he were able to just up and leave for someone else without giving it any thought, I would be scared.